My Cup Runneth Over

So, you wanna know what that verse looks like? Well there you go. I've never met a cup that can hold all that, though.

Recently, I learned an important lesson. If God said it, he'll do it. I was re-going through my Five Aspects women's study book and read over "the fall" for like the zillionth time when something clicked. You know, one of those "HEY!!! I really get it!!!" moments. I noticed that Eve's problem is that she doubted God. She should have kicked that serpent in the teeth the second he contradicted God. Did the serpent ever give her anything? Wasn't it God that gave her life and a purpose and a wonderful husband and everything she ever needed? So why would she doubt Him?

So many times God has told me not to worry. That He will always take care of me. "...do not worry about what you will eat or what you will wear..." And yet when my fridge looks so empty, I whine like a dog. So, this time I looked into my empty cupboards and said, "God has always fed us and He does not lie. I will not worry."

Two days later, we got all this food in a 12 hour period. Jon's dad and some friends (moving and getting rid of the entire contents of their pantry), have no idea how well timed their gifts were. May we all believe God at His word always. For truly, my cup runneth over.

Introducing Ax!

Hi! My name is Ax. My parents tell me I have a longer name, but I haven't figured out how to spell it yet. Today I turned 3 months old. Life is fantastic! I love it! My favorite new trick is smiling, smiling's my favorite, I do it all the time.

Some of my hobbies include: sleeping, eating, pooping, sleeping, did I mention eating, and playing with my brothers and sister. My favorite color is kind of a milky white and I think my mom is the best. When I get lonely during the night I can always count on her to bring me a midnight snack and spend some time talking and singing to me. I don't see my dad very much during the night hours...I'm not sure what he's up to.

I'm pretty laid back and I like to take each day as it comes. I have a mom and dad that love the heck out of me, and two older brothers to teach me all of their secret wrestling moves. I also have a Zaisy...I haven't quite figured out what that is yet, but I think it's pretty good.

Here's a picture of me and my pal Davis. He's my hero! I can't wait to do all the neat tricks that he can do. Oh the fun we're going to have. I guess that's what my parents get for praying for patience.

A Senseless Reminder

What a complete and utter tragedy. Word spread fast amongst our close knit group of friends. Our phone rang over and over again as loved ones called to check on us and make sure we were OK.

Yesterday, an armed gunman entered our church and began firing his weapon. Two teenagers were killed and two more were injured. The gunman was quickly killed, leaving our community full of questions and pain.

As I've pondered these events, I'm reminded that we do not fight against flesh and blood. It's too easy in the comforts of our American lifestyle to forget that the things we see in the natural world are of less significance than the things we see in the spiritual world. It's easy to get caught up paying bills, raising a family, working on our career, and simply living life, and forget that we are behind enemy lines. We are in a real war with a real enemy that hates us and is in relentless pursuit of our destruction.

It's time to lay down the spiritual laziness that plagues so many of us. It's time to rise up in powerful times of prayer, worship, and spiritual warfare. It's time to take it to a new level.

Have A Merry Funky Christmas!

This is just too Elfin' funny. Enjoy. http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1270595737

God is good!

When I was younger my family went to a church where the pastor would often say, "God is good!" and the well-trained monkeys would all respond, "All the time!"

In considering going into full-time missions, we read a lot of books by those who had gone before us. So many great faith filled stories...so many lessons they shared with us. Call it naivety, but I really thought that we could skip these lessons. [cue laughter]

Shortly after leaving my job, I had a dream one night that I was checking my online bank account and was excited to see that someone had deposited $10,000. I woke up thrilled and with a sense that maybe I really wouldn't have to see any hard times...maybe I already knew everything I needed to know to be a successful missionary.

...We were half way into a road trip to Montana this summer. It was a beautiful evening as we decided it was time to look for a camping spot. We had made it to the north end of Wyoming (code for THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE) when I felt the gas peddle go all the way to the floor and the van slipped out of gear. Our miracle transmission, that really should have been replaced three years ago, finally had bit the dust. We were scared, so we went to the Lord in prayer. He gave Rachel and I the same person to call. He had a lot of experience buying and selling cars and we were hoping for some good advice. He did much more than that...after calling him back with an estimate of $2,500, without flinching he wired the money right over...

...With bills overdue and groceries running out, things looked bleak. As we pulled into the garage after a doctor's appointment, our oldest son Smith came running out with a wad of cash in his hand. One of our friends had come by and given us close to $300. This was the exact amount we needed to pay the bills and buy some food...

These amazing stories go on and on. Money showing up, not always when we want it, but always when we need it. And simple things like a half-used bottle of shampoo and the laundry detergent that a friend didn't like...they gave it to us, and several months later we're still using it!

I'm still waiting for that $10,000 deposit, but one of the biggest lessons I have learned on this path is that God is good. Feelings and emotions will lie to you and circumstances are constantly changing, but God is always on your side, never changing, and always wants the best for you. He is not a liar and when He says something is going to happen...it always does. We just have to choose to believe it.

"God is good...All the time!"

Feel the Pain, Love the Pain

For various reasons all four of our children have been born by C-section. When our third child, Davis, was born the doctor had overlooked prescribing any pain killers for after the surgery. As the sedation began to wear off, Rachel was increasingly aware of the pain in her mid-section. There came a point where she could feel everything, as if she had been sliced open by a cruel knife on the battle field.
She is a tough girl, so as I watched the tears well up in her eyes, I knew she was in a lot of pain. Later, she told me that there came a point where the pain leveled off and it was so bad that she knew it couldn’t get any worse. She was almost grateful knowing that if this was the worst physical pain she would encounter, she could handle it.
For the last seven years working at HP, I often had to clothe myself in a suit of emotional numbness to make it through the day. I simply shut down so I didn’t have to feel the minutes and the hours slowly click by. I remember often after a joy filled weekend or an extended holiday filled with cheer consciously choosing to slip back into my “suit”. It was a sad way to live, yet I felt financially secure so I continued to drudge on.
The Lord often speaks to me through movies. Probably because He is gracious and knows that watching movies is one of my favorite things to do. Increasingly, I note that often the most popular movies are those dealing with a character that is trapped in a meaningless existence. He longs to escape the drab colored walls of his cubicle jungle. He longs to really feel alive. He longs to feel.
The feeling of freedom, or in this case, the freedom of feeling is never cheap. Stepping out of the “Matrix”, swimming against the tide, rocking the boat can be a lonely, painful experience. In many movies, once the character experiences true reality, he often longs for the simplicity, the numbness that he was once so accustomed to.
Recently, in the middle of a fast from everything ingestible other than water, I was waiting in line at the local auto parts store. I began to envy the clerks behind the counter that if nothing else, at least felt physically normal. They had probably eaten breakfast and lunch of some sort. It was hard to remember why I was inflicting this hell upon myself. I was weak, I was hungry, but most of all, I wanted to feel normal.
Being a full-time Missionary and choosing to live financially by faith and the giving of others, means many times of great want. Our needs are always provided for, just not always in ways we desire. As I walked through the crowds at church one night to pick up my children from their classes, I found myself envious of those around me with spare money in their wallets and in their purses. I heard some talk of going out to eat after the service. Here and there I heard some talk about Christmas presents or enrollment fees for some after school program. I wanted to feel normal.
In our “feel good” society everything imaginable has been invented to avoid any discomfort or displeasure. As these devices and distractions are stripped away and I’m left to face the blackest dark of the night I often feel like a raw piece of meat. Like the skin of my feelings has been stripped away, leaving my muscles and tendons to endure the cold wind and the assorted flying debris without any protection. And as I feel this unimaginable pain, the realization comes upon me, that it cannot get any worse.
I may lose my house. I may lose all of my possessions. I may lose everything I’ve worked so hard for my whole life. However, in the end, though bruised and battered by the enemy I can throw myself at the feet of the Lord and finally say without hesitation, “Have it all. Do with me whatever you will. Use me for the everlasting glory of Your Kingdom.”